Stop Refusing To Take Responsibility For Your Choices

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.” - Theodore Roosevelt We have a tendency to avoid taking responsibility for our actions and decisions. That’s especially true if those actions and decisions have less-than-ideal outcomes. It’s human nature. Owning our decisions often forces us to face unpleasant consequences. So we avoid taking ownership. For example, suppose you cause a car accident. Accepting responsibility for the mistakes that led to the accident would probably lead to higher insurance premiums. Or suppose you’re shopping in a store and inadvertently break something. Accepting blame might involve having to pay for the broken item. Or suppose you’re visiting Starbucks and drop your drink on the floor. Although you’ll receive a free replacement drink, you’ll still have to admit clumsiness. Most of us are adverse to facing the music. So we naturally look for ways to avoid doing so. The inclination to avoid owning our actions and decisions starts at an early age. We learn as children that staying silent when blame is assigned often allows us to sidestep repercussions. That tendency is reinforced through repeated application as we transition to adulthood. But evading responsibility comes at a steep cost. The more often we do it, the more we convince ourselves that we have limited influence over outcomes. That perspective leads to apathy. We start to see ourselves as victims of our circumstances rather than arbiters of our fate. We begin to believe that delusion. Mistakes and poor work processes aren’t our fault, so there’s nothing we can do to make notable improvements. We’re not in control, so why bother trying to make things better? If you don’t see yourself as the captain of your ship, you’ll be less inclined to change how you approach your workday. What would be the point? Hopefully, you can see how that perspective can negatively impact your productivity.

How This Bad Habit Hurts Your Productivity 

Refusing to take responsibility for our choices weakens our ability to work efficiently and effectively in five ways. First, as noted above, it dampens our motivation and enthusiasm to make changes. We begin to assume our current workflow processes, some of which are unproductive, are a result of circumstance rather than personal choice. We feel we have no control over our workday, and thus any changes we might make would be a waste of time. Second, it causes us to relegate ourselves to being just a cog or pawn, impotent and vulnerable to our environment and others’ whims. We feel burdened with our work-related responsibilities while receiving little joy from our accomplishments. This can lead to increased stress, lower morale and eventually burnout. Third, we lose the inspiration to produce high-quality work. Because we assume we have little to no influence over our circumstances, we see little value in expending time and effort to perform at a high level. So we spend our time producing mediocre work. Without inspiration, and in the absence of motivation and enthusiasm, we have little impetus to do otherwise. Fourth, we’re less motivated to take on challenging projects. Such projects carry a risk of failure. With failure comes the specter of consequences. Such projects also carry the “risk” of success. With success comes the possibility that we’ll be assigned more challenging projects. We’re thus unmotivated to improve our productivity since doing so might result in unwanted - albeit positive - attention. Fifth, our aversion to taking responsibility ultimately causes our careers to stall and our income to decline. We become predisposed to passing on opportunities that might otherwise lead to professional and personal growth. The above side effects can have serious, lasting impacts on the amount of work you complete as well as the quality of that work. For that reason, it’s worth developing the habit of owning your decisions and actions.

 Action Steps

 1. Assess how your workflow affects your goals. Think about how your actions lead to specific outcomes. For example, suppose your goal is to write a novel. You know intuitively that you must devote a significant amount of time, with your backside in a chair, to complete it. Unless you sit and write, your novel will never get finished. Unless you write productively, your novel will take too long to finish. You probably know people who have been writing their article for years. The first step toward owning your decisions and actions is to consider how they influence outcomes. That will provide the motivation to make positive changes.

2. Ask yourself why you’re inclined to avoid taking responsibility. As noted above, we learn the habit early in life. By the time we reach adulthood, it’s ingrained in our minds. It becomes a pattern of behavior - one we rarely, if ever, analyze to determine its root causes. But identifying the underlying reasons for this behavior is the key to changing it. Only then can we know where to focus our efforts in developing new, healthier habits. Ask yourself whether you fear failure. Or like many people, do you fear success? Are you avoiding responsibility out of laziness? Each of these circumstances requires a different approach to effect a new habit.

3. Reframe mistakes as feedback. Too often, we regard mistakes as signs of failure. We assume they reflect a lack of competence and ability. We see feedback as a negative statement regarding our worth. It’s no wonder so many of us develop a pattern of eschewing responsibility! Undesired outcomes that stem from our mistakes merely inform us that, like everyone, we’re imperfect. Importantly, they reveal areas for improvement. They do not signify a value statement about the individual. Rather than reacting to your mistake with the question “Why do I always do the wrong thing?” ask yourself “What can I learn from this experience?”

4. Identify how fear affects you. Our tendency to avoid taking responsibility for our decisions and actions stems from fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of the unknown. With rare exception, the fear is unfounded. Our minds exaggerate the potential for - and severity of - negative consequences. For example, suppose you’re thinking about asking your employer for a raise. Your brain might suggest that you could be fired for having the audacity to do so (fear of failure). Or it may try to convince you that you’ll be saddled with an unmanageable mountain of additional responsibilities along with the raise (fear of success). In reality, neither event is likely to happen. That’s the reason it’s important to identify how fear affects you. Once you’re aware of how it exploits false impressions to maintain its power, you’ll feel more confident in ignoring it.

5. Admit your mistakes with the intention of making improvements to your work habits. For example, if you know your procrastination resulted in a project being turned in late, own it. If you discover that your “open door” policy resulted in repeated interruptions that hampered your ability to get things done, accept responsibility for your decision. Then, make changes to avoid those problems in the future. Expect this Action Step to take time. Remember, you’ve spent a lifetime learning how to avoid taking responsibility for your decisions and actions to evade unpleasant consequences. It will take time to undo that pattern of behavior and replace it with a new, healthier and more productive habit. Be patient with yourself.